Whenever I have a depression crisis I start feeling numb. It feels like the world just stop and I get stuck. The feeling of emptiness emerge, slowly taking my life apart. Everything losses importance, I can only focus in how worthless I feel, how bad it is for my family to have to deal with me. How can someone live with a mind like this? A mind that loves to play tricks on me. Then I start feeling like a sinking boat, drowning in a sea of bad thoughts, a never ending feeling of despair. Even my body hurts, yes, I feel it in my muscles, in my joints, I feel it down to my bones. Then with that comes the fear of, what’s going to happen? Am I going to feel like this forever? And all of the sudden I start thinking “I wish I could have my other companion (The MANIA) with me”.
Ohh boy! That’s not good, whenever I wish to be in a Manic crisis is because I’m extremely depressed. I know…. I have to fight this feeling a state of mind that makes me so sick on the inside and on outside, but how can I do it? How can I fight something that even have the power to kill me. Well that’s when my rescuer’s come into the picture. That’s when I know its time to accept the help that I have been privilege to receive, that’s when I know I have to take that helping hand ( husband, daughter, mother) that are reaching out to me. I’m so thankful, because even when I feel like I’m sinking I have those special hands that reach towards me to get me out of the deep waters (depression) that suck me in like an anchor. To all of you that are there for me, I just want to say to you “thank you”, for not letting go of my hand, thank you for been there for me even on my worst moments. If you have someone like me, that suffer from depression please don’t let them sink!